Every Episode of Doctor Who Series 8 (2014) Ranked

Series 8! A new Doctor takes the reigns of the show, which means that the whole dynamic of the show tends to get thrown on its head. This goes doubly so this time as Capaldi gives us a departure from the young men of Tennant and Smith. Gone are the days of bouncing around like a goofball, instead giving us a grumpy, cynical and sarcastic style of comedy.

Personally, this was the series I was most dreading because it’s the only one that I haven’t actually rewatched since it originally aired. My memories of a lot of these episodes have faded in the years since 2014. There’s even one episode in here I’m relatively sure I’d never actually seen before.

Still, there’s no time like the present, so let’s get reviewing.

11 – In the Forst of the Night

In the Forest of the Night is the worst episode of modern Doctor Who. It’s really that simple.

Children actors are bad and annoying at the best of times, so it doesn’t help that A) They’re one of the most critical factors of this episode, and B) They were explicitly written to be the most insufferable, stereotypical arses I’ve ever seen. On top of that, all of the adult characters seem to act like children too. There are attempts at comedy, but they are DIRE. Jokes that are so unfunny they’d even be too bad for an episode of The Big Bang Theory.

The ‘drama’ in Clara & Danny’s relationship about how much she’s been seeing The Doctor is laughable, and wholly forced into scenes where they have no place being. Speaking of Danny, I have no idea why the writer decided he should be completely inept in this episode, but it turns him into the most unlikable character in the whole thing. I can get behind his motivation of protecting the kids, but he isn’t even good at it, for one thing, he steps up to tiger, with a torch, after which, we NEVER see that tiger again. THAT’S NOT HOW TIGERS WORK. Not to mention that not nearly enough attention is paid to the fact that Danny manages to lose a child at a sleepover. It’s not like she just wandered off either, she’s fully dressed and out in the forest, which means she’s been missing all night, and neither he nor Clara, nor any of the kids noticed.

All of that, all of it pales in comparison to this episodes biggest sin. The one time while watching an episode of Doctor Who that has made me physically angry that it was ever allowed to be broadcast. That is the moment where Clara tells The Doctor not to bother saving all of the children, and The Doctor just agrees. Clara makes this decision, not just to let the human race become extinct, but to let all these innocent children die, without consulting anyone, she simply tells it to The Doctor as a statement as fact. The fact that The Doctor doesn’t spend the remaining 10 minutes of the episode verbally eviscerating her for even suggesting it is a disgrace and a complete failure to understand anything about any of these characters.

Oh, and what’s Clara’s reasoning for letting the children die? Because, if they lived…they’d miss their parents…which is the dumbest justification for anything I’ve ever heard. It spits in the face of anyone who’s ever lost a parent too because Clara’s essentially just said that there’s no point in living without your parents. She says this, by the way, in front of Danny Pink, who is an orphan. Even putting all that to one side, if I was the parent to one of those kids, and you told me that you could’ve saved their lives, but chose not to, I would never stop being furious about it.

And before you say it, I don’t care that it turns out to all be fine in the end, because Clara still made that decision, believing all of the kids were going to die, and THAT’S what matters. Even during their most unlikable periods, I could never possibly believe that Clara or The Doctor would even consider such unbelievable bullshit for a second. It quite simply goes against the entire ethos of the show.

Oh also, making a joke about how they just call the kids ‘gifted & talented’ so they feel special, and it’s actually meaningless? Congratulations on completely shattering the self-esteem of any school kid who gets put in a ‘gifted & talented’ class. I don’t care if it’s a stupid joke on a TV show, kids pick up on this stuff, they will remember it, and it will hurt them.

10 – The Caretaker

Whenever I’ve seen people criticise Moffat’s writing, I’ve never understood where the ‘misogyny’ point comes from, then I rewatched this episode, and I get it now.

This episode treats Clara like an object rather than a character as all the men have a big fight over her. Danny & Clara’s relationship is the focal point of this episode, and it’s absolutely terrible. I know they couldn’t dedicate tonnes of time to establishing their relationship before this, but skimming over it in a montage doesn’t help us feel the connection the show keeps telling us they have. When Clara proclaims that she loves Danny, all I could do was wonder why? We’ve shown them being vaguely flirty and the show keeps telling us that they’re in love, but I’ve never actually seen them make a real emotional connection.

I think the problem comes from perspective. The entire episode is written from Clara’s perspective. On paper, this seems like the smart decision as she’s the bridge between these two worlds. However, the episode never actually focuses on her thoughts and feelings on the conflict between The Doctor & Danny. We get the sense that she wants them to get along, because of course she does, but we never get a real sense of the stress of her worlds colliding. Personally, I think the episode could’ve been a lot better if written entirely from Danny’s perspective, then you could’ve had a proper look at the emotional trauma he goes through when discovering all of this. Not only would it make Clara seem more like a real person, but it would’ve helped up connect to Danny because as it is, I have no reason to like him.

The conflict between The Doctor & Danny shows hints of being good, but more or less just devolves into them being petty little school children to each other. Maybe that idea was the point, but it just comes across as annoying. Danny flips out in the TARDIS for no reason and seems like an arsehole because of it, and The Doctor just seems bitter that Clara didn’t like the guy who looked like him. The Doctor comes across as unbelievably childish for discarding Danny because of his past as a soldier. I know they’ve never liked military organisations or those in them, but The Doctor is always the kind of person to reach out and try to show them the better way, not just bat them away like they’re the scum of the Earth. Neither Danny nor The Doctor comes out of it looking sympathetic or likeable, and Clara is just treated like a little damsel who needs the men to protect her. I know I’ve criticised Clara for never struggling before, but this is too far in the other direction.

At its core, this is an episode that fails to understand its characters,.fails to understand interpersonal relationships, and fails to have any kind of exciting plot. It just wanted to be a drama-based episode, but still had to throw in a monster of the week because it’s Doctor Who. As a result, both suffered.

9 – Listen

Listen is two different types of episode pressed together into one. One half of it is a slow and tense mystery surrounding a very interesting concept. It knows what it’s doing had carries a solid plot. The other half is a character study between The Doctor and Clara, focusing on how it’s shifting with the inclusion of Danny Pink. This fails to understand the established dynamic between these characters, has no idea how romance actually works and tries to wrap it all up with a completely meaningless speech about fear.

I’ll start with the good stuff. First of all, the hook is great. The concept of something under your bed is immediately understandable by absolutely everyone, and I’m surprised it took this long for the show to use it. I loved the idea of how you talk to yourself sometimes to reason that there might be something there. I, for one talk to myself ALL. THE. TIME. And I’d be thrilled to know that all of my genius thoughts didn’t go to waste when I verbalised them.

The scenes where we get teased as if we’re going to see the creature are great. They build so perfectly to their climax. The bedroom scene is the best example of this. It starts with Clara calming Rupert, seeming to diffuse the situation. It’s a sweet scene, but the atmosphere remains tense because we know that something’s really there. The tension then takes a huge spike when something sits on top of the bed. There’s then the whole build with The Doctor, talking things out to Rupert, but simultaneously trying to work things out for himself. The Doctor’s slightly panicky tone as he hopes the creature will go away makes the thing feel genuinely quite scary. The same goes for the scene in the space base later on.

Where things fall apart, though, is the character stuff between Clara & Danny. The dating scene is fine, although I didn’t really buy into their connection. I’m not saying I wanted to see the whole scene where they found common ground and started getting along – I’m totally cool with the episode yada-yadaing over that stuff – but it felt like we so quickly went from them awkwardly trying to find common ground, to them falling out that I didn’t have any time to digest their connection. In fact, it didn’t feel like they had any at all. I understand what they were trying to say about Danny’s mental state by having him flip out with the idea of killing, but the argument makes him seem so unreasonable. A perspective that isn’t helped by the fact that we only follow Clara.

I like that the situation flips a couple of times – they both get a chance to be wrong – but again, not nearly enough time was dedicated to it to be worthwhile. I know they tried to establish a connection between the adventure & the date, but it fell relatively flat for me. The Doctor’s investigation played into the date very little, and I’m sorry, but I just didn’t care about someone who we assume is Danny’s descendant connecting with Clara. Danny is such a focal point around Clara’s internal conflict here, and yet I don’t feel like I know who he is. I grasp the idea of being a soldier that hasn’t quite gotten over his days in the war, but that story has been told so many times that, unless you have something interesting to say about it, you just shouldn’t bother. What we get here from Danny is the most basic version of that archetype.

I didn’t enjoy the stuff between Clara & The Doctor either. I know that it was sowing the seeds for later in the series, but it escalates so quickly that I just don’t buy it. I understand that when The Doctor snaps at Clara, it’s because he’s desperate to solve a mystery from his childhood, but there was no build to it. The Doctor doesn’t seem any different than normal until he suddenly starts forcefully ordering Clara around. Sure, he disregards Clara’s date, but from what we’d seen from this Doctor so far, that’s nothing out of the ordinary for him. It meant that all of the character-based drama (both in this episode and the series at large) feel extremely unearned because no-one bothered to give it any proper build.

It’s such a shame that I’ve had to rank this so low because there’s some great stuff in here, but the character drama that is supposed to carry the episode utterly fails.

8 – Time Heist

If you were wondering which episode it was that I hadn’t seen before, it was this one. I feel it’s important to clarify that, because this is an episode with a lot of twists to it, so I need to impress upon you that I didn’t already know what was going to happen going into this episode. The reason this is so important for me to clarify is because all of the twists were really obvious.

Seriously, there was only one twist that I didn’t see coming, and it was the only one that wasn’t foreshadowed until about 30 seconds before it was revealed. Usually, I wouldn’t think much of a secondary character dying in one of these episodes, but it happened so quickly after they were introduced that I knew there was no way they were dead. Their deaths were given no fanfare and no time to breathe, with exposition about their character crammed into the 10 minutes each of them had before vanishing briefly.

Secondly, I cannot stress how painstakingly obvious it was that The Doctor was the architect the whole time. As soon as they had their memories wiped I knew there was going to be some kind of ‘gotcha’ moment when it came to the identity of the architect, and as soon as The Doctor realised it was a time travel heist, it more or less confirmed my theory. Sometimes, solving a mystery before it’s revealed is a fun experience that makes me feel smart, but in this instance, it felt so obvious to me that I couldn’t help but feel bored as The Doctor ran around trying to slowly figure it all out.

There was a nice variety of stuff to enjoy here, though. The first 30 minutes or so was very tense and enjoyable. The episode didn’t spend too much time introducing us to the world, but it didn’t really need to. Bank, heist, mysterious person behind it all; that’s all we need to know. This meant the heist action got to shine, which was where this episode was at it’s strongest. I still wouldn’t call it anything extraordinary, but I had fun watching the team break into the vault while evading the monster that could sense their guilt. Speaking of, what a brilliant concept for a monster, bravo to the Thompson & Moffat for putting that concept together.

The last 15 minutes leave all the excitement behind, though, which felt like a bit too much of a change of pace. They reach the private vault ridiculously easily when I was honestly hoping we’d get at least one more scene of tense heist shenanigans. It left me wanting more, but not in a good way, I just felt like it had short-changed me on the action and totally killed the pace. The sequence where The Doctor works everything out and confronts the monster is good, but the fact that I’d already worked out the solution took something away from it. The fact that the thing in the vault was another one of the monsters though was a brilliant way to end it and, as I said, I didn’t see that coming.

This is one of those episodes that I can’t really conjure up any strong feelings for. It didn’t do anything terribly, but it didn’t do anything spectacular either. I enjoyed it, but I doubt I’ll remember much about it in a few weeks.

7 – Into the Dalek

This is an episode that I keep going back and forth on. I think it succeeds in telling its self-contained story, but when it comes to the long-term, series-length plots, it leaves a lot to be desired.

This was the episode that kicked off the “Am I a good man?” storyline and, in theory, I can see that this would be a very good episode to help that story along. I’ll touch on it in a bit, but there are plenty of moments throughout the episode where the Doctor’s morality is questioned in a meaningful and effective way. The problem with it was that the scene where The Doctor posed the question, was at the start of the episode, not at the end. The Doctor hasn’t done anything in the previous episode(s) that caused this doubt in the mind of the audience, so it just feels like we’re being told what to think.

If instead, The Doctor had asked Clara that question at the end of the episode, it would’ve felt like a natural culmination of the story that was being told. It’s a minor change, but I think it makes a huge difference. One way tells the audience what they should be thinking, while the other allows the audience to come to these doubtful thoughts themselves before the show starts to press on the issue.

Next up, we had the introduction of Danny Pink. Now, I’ve already touched on what I think of him and his story, but, for an introduction, I thought this was quite effective. It felt totally out of place with the episode, but in a bubble, this was an excellent way to give us a bit of a taste of Danny and his budding relationship with Clara. I did find it a bit weird that they seemed to be hot for each other the moment they made eye contact, but whatever.

Looking at the plot, it definitely landed for me. The whole dilemma of a ‘good Dalek’ was an interesting plot thread that I don’t think has been done before. It didn’t feel like a gimmick either, it actually felt like there was a point to this story, that was trying to evolve the Daleks as villains. I think the fact that there was actually a reasonable explanation as to why the Dalek had shifted its perspective went a long way to bringing me into the story too. If the Dalek had just randomly changed its mind, then I wouldn’t have bought it, but the explanation of the damage it had sustained, allowing it to open up its mind was a great touch.

The progression of the characters in this story works well. I genuinely got the sense that Clara was someone who knew and understood The Doctor’s mind when she called him out on his bullshit this time, rather than just her usual ‘generic strong woman sass’. Why we couldn’t have seen this side of Clara in Series 7, I will never know, but I’m thrilled that we’ve got it now.

The finale was near-perfect in its execution. The tension of Clara restoring the memories was a nice segment to have running through everything, but the best moment was when The Doctor went inside the Dalek’s mind. The fact that the main thing the Dalek took on board from The Doctor’s mind was his hatred for the Daleks was a brilliant twist; because we’d seen it bubbling throughout the episode. It adds so much to the “Am I a good man?” discussion too, because we’ve been shown how hate-filled The Doctor’s mind can be, but also, Daleks are born and raised to embrace hatred, so maybe it’s not The Doctor’s fault. That’s why I think the question should’ve come up after the fact, not before.

Fortunately for this episode, the stuff I didn’t like takes up minimal time at the beginning and end, while the stuff that’s in between it is an exciting adventure. It knows exactly the story it wants to tell and tells it in a compelling manner, which is all I ask for from this show.

6 – Robot of Sherwood

I was very pleasantly surprised by this one. I’d managed to convince myself it was a terrible episode. I think all I really remembered is the general goofiness of the thing, which isn’t entirely representative of the episode. Not to mention, it was written by Mark Gatiss, who doesn’t have an exceptionally high hit-rate when it comes to writing good Doctor Who.

The tone of this one is played relatively light, but I don’t mind that. The whole concept of meeting Robin Hood and having him fight robots is an inherently ridiculous one, so there’s no way trying to play it off as serious would’ve worked. The first half of the episode is filled with a lot of genuinely funny stuff. The scene where The Doctor and Robin first meet is hilarious. Capaldi wouldn’t get nearly enough opportunities to show off his comedic side in this series, but here is a gleaming bastion of funny. I’ll admit, the bickering between The Doctor and Robin does become tiresome pretty quick – the scene in the prison cell should’ve been way shorter – but there were still a fair few lines that got a laugh out of me.

Looking to the plot, I think it was about as good as it could’ve been given the concept. A light-hearted romp with Robin Hood and his merry men was never going to be a revolutionary story, but I struggled to find any major complaints with it. We spend enough time with The Doctor questioning how this could all be real that it builds suspense, but it doesn’t go on and on too much. Then, a large chunk of the episode is spent unravelling the mystery, arguably more so than usual.

The guest stars did a fantastic job here too. Tom Riley was able to capture the over-the-top atmosphere that Robin Hood gives off in his stories (much better than Jonas Armstrong’s portrayal of the role, I must say). The way he gave every line this kind of casual, yet slightly posh touch was very endearing. Ben Miller does a beautiful job as the Sherriff too. If you’ve ever watched Armstrong & Miller, you’ll know that he’s able to pull off ‘posh & manacing’ like few others, which made him great for a cartoonish villain like the Sherriff. He carries the serious stuff too though. The scene with him and Clara could easily have been a bore, but I’d argue that his performance makes it interesting to watch.

The climax wasn’t the greatest. A middle of the road sword fight over a pit of lava isn’t a very ‘Doctor Who’ way to solve things, but sod it, this episode was just an excuse to bring back memories of the old BBC Robin Hood series, which had sword fights way stupider than this.

I really didn’t expect to enjoy this episode, but I was proven so very wrong. It’s absolutely not to everyone’s tastes, but I think that as long as you don’t try to take it too seriously, there’s a lot of fun to be had.

5 – Deep Breath

Following The Eleventh Hour, Moffat was going to be hard-pressed to top himself when it came to writing another brilliant ‘first story’ for another new Doctor. Did he nail it? For the most part, I’d say it did.

The thing that stood out to me most in this episode was the humour, which was a bit of a mixed bag. At the start of the episode, most of the jokes landed, and the tone worked for the jokes. The line “Don’t look in that mirror, it’s furious!” got a huge laugh out of me. The problem I had with the humour was that it persisted throughout the episode even once the tone had drastically shifted. Scattering in jokes during serious moments can be good, but they still need to be consistent with the tone of the scene and most of the jokes here were much too goofy to fit in the more serious scenes.

For example, the scene following the interrogation where Clara calls in the Paternoster gang to help them. This was the point in the episode where the action burst into the forefront of the scene and having Strax comically crash into the floor with a thud only for Jenny to make a quip about it didn’t fit at all. Speaking of Jenny, the jokes between her & Vastra were clearly written by someone who has only ever seen lesbians in porn films. All of the jokes between the two of them were had some form of sexual connotation or innuendo behind them, and while that is funny in small doses, it really got tiresome by the end.

That said, I thought the dramatic and serious side of the episode was fantastic. The scenes underneath the restaurant where Clara is forced to hold her breath to escape is incredibly tense, and I loved it. The following scene where she confronts the villain was also a standout moment for the character. The performance was excellent, and I really bought into the feeling of Clara being absolutely terrified but using everything she’s learnt from The Doctor in her travels to keep herself safe.

The way the inner conflict of Clara adjusting to this new Doctor was well told and I liked how it shifted throughout. She starts off with a very clear denial of the situation, and I enjoyed the scene where Vastra confronted her about it. It was the first time since her introduction that I actually felt Clara’s integrity as a character was challenged by other characters in the show. After being a void of personality in Series 7, some attention is finally being paid to Clara’s flaws and facades to make her more of a person. This conflict remains, where she takes a leap of faith on the fact that The Doctor didn’t actually abandon her in her most dire moments. It culminates beautifully in the final scene where she receives a phone call from Matt Smith’s Doctor to guide her towards acceptance. It’s a bittersweet scene and all three actors involved did a fantastic job of performing it.

That’s the perfect segway to talk about the whole point of this episode: Introducing us to the new Doctor. On that front, it was really good – not Eleventh Hour good, but still good. The shifting in tone from comedic, to dramatic, to heartfelt at the end gave Capaldi the chance to show off his full range for the role in just one episode. All of his comedic lines were great, and he was even able to bring the subtlety to the performance in the form of how he slowly grew out of his post-regeneration daze throughout. It seemed like every scene he was just a little bit less crazy, culminating in the final scenes where he confronted the villain and spoke plainly with Clara.

This episode did an excellent job at what it was supposed to do, and regardless of how well the rest of the series capitalised on what it did, the things it set in motion were great. We saw a wide range of what the new Doctor can do, along with getting a good sense of his personality; Clara got challenged and developed as a character for the first time since she was introduced, and it told a compelling story with a satisfying conclusion.

4 – Dark Water/Death in Heaven

So, this finale was a lot better than I remember it being, but I’m still not entirely sure I like it.

Starting with Dark Water, this is a really good episode. It’s not the most amazing depiction of grief (that happens next series), but I definitely think that the numbness that transitions into anger as Clara processes it is good. I definitely felt it hit a genuine place, it doesn’t feel the need to rush through it either, it gives over about a third of the episode to Clara processing her grief, and that’s good. I especially like how The Doctor responds to it, the line “Do you think I care about you so little that betraying me would make a difference?” is pure brilliance.

The tension builds ok, but it definitely reveals the Cybermen a little too early. I know that you won’t get the door & musical sting thing if you didn’t watch Series 2, but for those of us who did, it just spoiled the reveal that happened 5 minutes later. Speaking of Series 2, why does no-one remember the Cybermen? The whole ‘Army of Ghosts’ thing only happened 8 years prior to this, and don’t give that “everyone just forgot” bullshit, because that’s just not how the real world works. We don’t just forget cataclysmic events like that. As it stands though, there was really no reason for these to be Cybermen, especially when they’re just going to play second fiddle to The Master. The only thing the Cybermen actually add over some random monster (other than marketability) is the whole ’emotions’ thing at the very end. Still, surely it wouldn’t have taken much effort to find another way to do it. All it did was serve to continue the decline in threat or interest in the Cybermen.

Those gripes aside though, I still liked the episode. We don’t get a lot of Missy’s antics here, but I think that’s a good thing, just gives us a taste of what we want to see in part 2.

Then we move onto Death in Heaven, which…is ok. There’s definitely some stuff to like in there, but there’s a lot that I really didn’t enjoy.

Missy is a bit from both groups. Her being crazy was fun, and if you enjoyed that side of John Simm’s performance like I did, then you’ll definitely get a lot out of it. The problem is that the craziness is all she has. There’s no menace, no threat. Yes, she’s doing evil things, but she doesn’t actually feel evil or scary. I think what makes The Master so brilliant is how they mix the crazy & sinister sides to create someone who makes you uncomfortable because of how truly wrong they feel. Missy would eventually become a very different (but much better) character, and this feels like we’re just getting to grips with her.

The plot is definitely the weakest part of the episode, mostly because it never feels like it gets going. I’m glad that the character elements were the main focus of the episode, but the plot really suffers because of it. The scenes on the plane don’t feel anywhere as tense or exciting as they were probably meant to, and the rest of it just gets explained to us at various points.

The character stuff though, that’s where this episode (mostly) gets it right. Even though Clara has a minimal role in this episode, I’d say she’s the character that Moffat got the most right with here. She’s playing a much more reactionary role, but her reactions finally feel reasonable and realistic. I keep feeling her pain. Danny’s story has its problems, but on the whole, I still liked it. The revelation that he accidentally killed a kid was good in theory, but in reality, it plays basically no part in the story and doesn’t feel like it affects his story all that much. It gives him a chance to redeem himself, but honestly, sacrificing himself to save the day felt like it was enough. Maybe if it had been built up to a little more, then I’d have been more invested, but outside of a few hints, it wasn’t ever referenced. It was just backstory, not a character trait.

The Doctor is where the episode lives and dies though, and in classic Doctor Who fashion, it does a bit of both. The “am I a good man?” plot thread is not a good one, and while I see what they were going for, it didn’t end well. Missy giving The Doctor an army is all well and good, but she doesn’t actually give him any reason to use it. Sure, there’s the promise of being able to generally bring justice to the universe, but the man’s already got an infinitely powerful time machine and a basically infinite lifespan, what would he need an army of his weakest villains for? There should’ve been some immediate pressing threat that was forcing The Doctor to use the army.

What I thought was this episode’s strongest scene though, is when Clara & The Doctor are sitting in the cafe at the end. Lying to each other. Just 10 minutes (screentime) that Clara declared he was the one man she would never lie to. They’re so bare with each other, and yet we know how it’s dripping in lies and feelings they’re hiding from each other. Genuinely, if that had been the last time we saw Clara (which apparently, it was meant to be until Jenna Coleman signed on to do another series at the last minute), I think it might’ve been one of the best companion exits we’ve seen. This series showed us how the relationship between the two of them is fundamentally flawed. Some reasons are their fault, others are just the nature of their lives, and I think that would’ve been the perfect end. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be, and next series we’d get the real end and…oh boy…it’s….sure something.

3 – Flatline

Flatline is an odd episode, and I’m surprised I ended up ranking it this high, and how much you like it will depend on what aspects you chose to focus on. When I look at the writing of the characters in this episode, I see clear examples of some of the biggest flaws there are in this series. However, when you look at it from a plot-based standpoint, it’s an absolutely thrilling episode.

I’m going to talk about the negatives first because I want to leave a positive lasting impression about this one. First up is Clara. After progressing very well as a character up until this point, here she regresses back into the ‘smoother’ version of her character. She becomes the flawless, more perfect version of the character we saw in Series 7, the character with no real substance. Despite having to handle basically the entire situation alone, she never feels like she’s being challenged. She goes in with a head of steam and fixes every problem almost immediately, with only a little assistance from The Doctor. She literally figures out how to bring the TARDIS back to life in about 20 seconds. I’ll accept that of a two-millennium old super-being, but not of a human who’s been consistently shown to not be on The Doctor’s level this series.

The side characters are pretty paper-thin. Rigsy gets a couple of glimmers of hope, but the episode doesn’t invest in him anywhere near as much as it should’ve. I get the impression he was supposed to be a make-shift companion to Clara, but outside of the beginning & end of the story, he just fades into the background. The old guy is just a lazy stereotype. He’s not even close to a real person and exists purely, so there’s a vague sense of conflict in the group.

Now, onto what I love. Most importantly, we get a proper breakdown of The Doctor’s mind. Through his explanations to Clara, we get to fully understand how The Doctor thinks, and how he’s able to solve mysteries like this so quickly. When you look back at older episodes, you can clearly see them going through the steps outlined in this one. It shows a strong understanding of what makes the show great, and exactly why The Doctor is a hero, an understanding that feels lost throughout many episodes in the series.

The whole thing is exceptionally well-paced. I wish they hadn’t shown us what the monsters were doing right in the cold-open, but the mystery still worked regardless. I liked how the episode gave its audience enough credit to connect some of the dots themselves. Things like the weird texture on the wall in the flat is what I’m talking about. Sure, it gets explained eventually, but for that whole scene, it’s just sitting there in shot, with very little attention being drawn to it. It gives us the breadcrumbs we need to make those kinds of connections and feel more like The Doctor.

The ending put a smile on my face too. Yes, The Doctor’s speech is a bit cheesy, and the way he points out the sonic to blast them all away is quite over-the-top, but it feels earned. This was such an incredibly dark and tense episode that to have a big heroic moment like that felt like a huge sigh of relief. It was a bit much, but it wrapped the episode up nicely and left me with positive feelings.

2 – Kill the Moon

Kill the Moon is the example of how brilliant this series could’ve been if it was done properly. Everything that all the other episodes get wrong, this episode hits the mark perfectly. The conflict between Clara & The Doctor, The Doctor’s faults, even Clara & Danny’s relationship is done exactly how I wanted it to be done in this episode.

The plot is very well-paced. There isn’t a lot of action in this episode, but the one or two scenes we do get are well-placed. The mystery unfolds satisfyingly, and every scene gives you just a little clue as to what’s going on. The scene where The Doctor explains it is a little long-winded, but that’s more or less the only problem I have with how the story was told. One thing I do have to have a go at though is how stupid ‘turn your lights on or off’ is as a way to get the Earth to vote. Apparently, Clara only cared what Europe & the east coast of America wanted to do, because they’re the only places she could actually see.

Courtney Woods was an element of this episode that I didn’t particularly care for. She wasn’t bad, or even that annoying, she just felt kind of unnecessary. Her input into the big debate at the end didn’t affect much, it would’ve been nice to get more of an opportunity to see the situations through her eyes. I wouldn’t say her presence made the episode worse though, so it’s not a huge issue.

Ok, now onto the things that actually make this episode the brilliance that it is. Firstly, this is the best showcase of The Doctor’s arrogance and failures we get all series. He steps to one side and ‘allows the humans to make their choice’ in a way that felt incredibly condescending, especially when you know that he’s already got a plan to save the day. When it all finally comes out, and The Doctor explains it, I couldn’t help but feel like he manipulated Clara in a significant way. If that fact had just been allowed to skate by, I would’ve been furious about it, but instead, Clara calls him out on his shit.

This brings me to my other point, which is that this is the best version of Clara I’ve ever seen. She’s not a plot device, or a perfect caricature, or some damsel in distress, she’s a real person with real emotions. It’s incredible how rare it is for Clara to actually be written like this because it’s utterly brilliant. The performance from Coleman was top-notch, not just in her outburst, but the panic and confusion that she goes through the decision she’s making. The Doctor gets his arse kicked because he deserves it, and the fact that he can’t understand why she’s so upset about is the perfect way to make us doubt whether or not he really is a good man.

It ends on a great note too. Danny’s response to Clara’s outburst is perfect. He doesn’t say a word while she vents, he doesn’t go on about how ‘I knew this would happen’ or anything like that, he just listens and then tells Clara what she needs to hear. That 30-second scene gets me more invested in the connection the two of them have that ANYTHING else in the series. He’s not ‘protecting’ Clara, or trying to make a point, he’s doing the right thing for someone he cares about, and that’s all you needed to make him likeable.

If anything, I’d say the biggest problem with this episode is how well it highlights the failings of the rest of the series when it comes to these areas. It’s like someone read all of my complaints in the rest of this article and fixed them in one fell swoop.

1 – Mummy on the Orient Express

As one of the few episodes in this series that is largely unburdened by the overall series arc, Mummy on the Orient Express was allowed to flourish to become one of the purest and most exciting mysteries the show has ever produced.

What makes this episode so brilliant is that The Doctor is in his element from start to finish. The entire thing feels like one big stream of consciousness from The Doctor. He’s constantly thinking on the move, talking to himself at a million miles a minute and clevering his way out of the situation. This is a version of The Doctor we don’t get to see nearly as often as we should in this series, and it just proves how entertaining it can be to watch.

The mystery of the mummy is so well-paced. The use of the timer in the bottom corner of the screen right from the start is absolutely perfect for building suspense, as well as giving us some clues as to what’s really going on. We start seeing each encounter with the mummy the same as The Doctor, an opportunity to learn more, to get a little bit closer to solving the mystery.

This also continues to poke away at The Doctor’s identity as a good man in a meaningful way. As he says at the end of the episode, he would’ve just kept letting people die until the mystery was solved. Not out of arrogance or malice, but because it’s the only way to save everyone that’s left. It’s the kind of higher thinking that puts The Doctor above you or me, it may seem cold-hearted on the surface, but he’s just doing what has to be done. As The Doctor said: “Sometimes the only choices are bad ones, but you still have to choose”.

While the series arc stuff is there, it doesn’t dig its teeth too heavily into the episode like with The Caretaker. Instead, it serves more as bookends to tie everything together. Clara’s slow realisation that she would never be able to give up travelling with The Doctor isn’t addressed directly until the end, because it doesn’t need to be, we can see her processes as everything unfolds. You can feel the awkwardness between the two of them in the early scenes, as neither of them can say what they really want to. A friendship fading is different from a relationship ending, and I think this is a good representation of the fragile balance The Doctor has with some of his companions. While you could argue that Clara’s U-Turn at the end was a bit cheap, I think just enough was sown throughout the episode that we can understand her thought process.

Regardless, what makes this episode brilliant is the thrill and the mystery. It knows exactly when to accelerate and let off the gas, and knows the best ways to build up tension. Even when you already know the solution on a rewatch, its still an exciting prospect because of how well its told. It’s one of the purest Doctor vs Monster stories we would ever get in the Moffat era, and it’s all the better for it.

And there you have it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read this post. Please, let me know what you thought of this series, either in the comments below or on Twitter @10ryawoo. Finally, make sure to come back here this time next week, where I’ll be covering WWE Hell in a Cell!

The 10 Worst Treehouse of Horror Episodes of The Simpsons

Every year, when Halloween rolls around (or sometimes over Christmas depending on when that year’s season starts) The Simpsons’ writers get a chance to flex their creative muscles a bit more than usual. As much as the show slowly gets wilder & wilder each year, it does its best to stick to the universal laws that govern the real world. However, for one episode every year, those rules are thrown out of the window, and the writers go wild with crazy stories that are at least tangentially related to Halloween (sometimes).

We’ll cover some of the brilliance this has given us later on this month, but tonight, we look at the crap. As with any creative endeavour, there are bound to be missed, especially over the course of over 30 years. So today, we’re running down the 10 worst ever episodes of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror series.

NOTE: I haven’t yet seen Treehouse of Horror 30, as while it has aired in the UK already, it’s not available on-demand, so I won’t be including it in this ranking.

10 – Treehouse of Horror XV

Original Airdate: 7th November 2004
Segments: The Ned Zone; Four Beheadings and a Funeral; In the Belly of the Boss

This is one of the episodes that falls into the “just fine” category. It’s nothing exceedingly terrible, but I’m never going to go out of my way to watch it, or even really remember it.

The first, best, and most memorable segment – The Ned Zone – is a fun concept that I don’t think the writers got as much out of as they could have. Flanders is always a fun character to play around with in a horror setting, as his uptight nature allows for plenty of more risque jokes at his expense. The highlight of it is undoubtedly the Homer/Ned interactions which carry a large chunk of the segment. However, it’s far from their best work.

Four Beheadings and a Funeral is easily the most forgettable of the three. It’s a story set in Victorian England that assumes it can just pull elements from all sorts of different stories set in that era and just get away with it. It’s technically a parody of 1990s graphic novel From Hell, but it takes most of its jokes and tropes from Sherlock Holmes. You then pile on a title stolen from a romance film that has nothing to do with anything, and it creates a bit of a mess. No-one even dies via beheading in it.

In the Belly of the Boss is incredibly dull. It’s a parody that has already been done so much better by Futurama. All of the jokes are basic, and not all that amusing. It’s a kind of story that needs some tension to properly work, but this is a Treehouse of Horror episode, we’re all fully aware that there are no stakes during this. Not to mention, the ending doesn’t land at all. I get the gruesome imagery they were going for, but it just feels a bit uncomfortable to look at. It’s not even slightly funny.

It comes out as an episode that’s an ok watch if it happens to come on the TV late one night, but there’s absolutely no reason to seek it out.

9 – Treehouse of Horror X

Original Airdate: 31st October 1999
Segments: I Know What You Diddily-Iddly Did; Desperately Xeeking Xena; Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die

The earliest episode on this list (and one of only two to actually air on Halloween), this episode was more of a precursor to the steep dive some of these episodes would end up taking.

I Know What You Diddily-Iddly Did is a pretty funny segment with a terrible ending. Most of the jokes got a good laugh out of me, and the plot moves at just the right pace to make things feel meaningful. I can easily imagine a modern version of this episode where they spend almost the entire thing on the ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ stuff and throw away all the other opportunities. The ending with Flanders becoming a Werewolf is pretty dumb though. Partly because it’s completely out of nowhere for the plot, but also because I really hate the way Werewolf-Flanders was drawn. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it just looks wrong.

Desperately Xeeking Xena is definitely the weakest of the three segments. There are some funny jokes at the start surrounding nerd culture and the shows they like (and yes, I’m well aware of the irony here), but once it gets going, there’s not a lot to love. For one thing, Bart & Lisa are entirely irrelevant to the plot. Everything important that happened would’ve happened with or without them. It seems like such a waste to take the concept of those two going on superpowered adventures just so you can give your celebrity guest some more lines. Most of the superhero jokes this segment made were already played out, even by 1999, which leads to a segment that just isn’t very funny.

Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die is pretty much the definition of ‘alright’. Doing a segment on the 2K virus was a good call, and weirdly on-time for The Simpsons. It has a handful of good jokes but definitely doesn’t get as much out of the concept as it could’ve. Between the pop-culture references at the start and all of the plot stuff at the end, we don’t get much of technology going crazy, which is where I felt all the funniest stuff was. I know that you don’t want to go to the same well too many times, but surely there was more ground to cover there?

8 – Treehouse of Horror XI

Original Airdate: 1st November 2000
Segments: G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad; Scary Tales Can Come True; Night of the Dolphin

G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad is the saving grace of this episode, and I’d honestly say it’s worth seeking this one out on its own. Its brisk pace keeps the jokes coming thick and fast, with the writers knowing just the right amount to get out of each subject. Highlights include the ways in which Homer almost dies, the way in which he actually dies, and the segment’s portrayal of Saint Peter.

Sadly, I can’t be as complimentary of the other two segments. The first of which is Scary Tales Can Come True, which is just an awful title. The ‘get in, get out’ pace was a good idea, and it would’ve worked if the jokes were anything worthwhile. Unfortunately, it’s the most basic humour you could possibly think of to mock any of the ‘Grimm’s Fairy Tales‘ stories. Hey, what if the three bears behaved like real bears? Wouldn’t it be excruciating for a full-grown man to use your hair as a rope? What if the troll under the bridge just wanted to make friends? Why aren’t you laughing? The jokes aren’t creative, and the plot is a threadbare excuse to fit in way too many parodies.

Night of the Dolphin isn’t much better either. This is technically a parody of a film where Dolphins are trained to kill the president (don’t ask), but you won’t actually find any jokes in here to do with that. Instead, the writers did their own thing with it. This sounds like a good thing, but honestly, a parody of dolphins being trained into assassins probably would’ve been funnier than what we got. Instead, the joke is just dolphins killing people in generic and uninteresting ways. The joke where Homer pulls a big speech to get people to fight back, only to be instantly shut down by the horde of dolphins staring at them in silence is utterly hilarious, but that’s the only good joke in the whole thing.

7 – Treehouse of Horror XVIII

Original Airdate: 4th November 2007
Segments: E.T. Go Home; Mr & Mrs Simpson; Heck House

An E.T parody that’s at least a decade too late, this show’s first segment seems desperate to explain all of its jokes to you before it makes them. It feels terrified that no-one watching is going to have seen or remembered anything about E.T, so they make a point of having the characters more or less directly point out when they’re parodying famous scenes from the movie. The joke that none of The Simpsons realises that Kodos’ plan is obviously evil gets overplayed, and then no-one even pretends to care when it gets put into effect. I find it so strange that, despite all being roughly the same length, some segments feel so rushed, while others feel lengthy and deep.

Mr & Mrs Simpson is actually a pretty good segment. The gimmick wears itself out almost immediately, and I don’t care for the big fight scene, but almost all of the banter between Marge & Homer got me laughing. The final ‘they have sex’ joke was quite an obvious and unexciting punchline, but everything else was pretty enjoyable to watch.

Heck House is bland and forgettable. The first half is spent setting up the kid’s downfall, but it’s not funny in the slightest. They just got an upbeat track and had the kids destroy stuff while Lisa shakes her head. There aren’t even any jokes in it, at least not funny ones. It goes hard on the horrific imagery for the next part, but it’s not even slightly entertaining. I don’t get much out of that stuff at the best of times, but this isn’t even a good version of it. Then it wraps thing up on a ‘FOX is bad’ joke, which had been overplayed for about a decade by the time this episode aired.

Maybe watch the middle segment if it sounds like your thing, but the other two are definitely not worth your time.

6 – Treehouse of Horror XVII

Original Airdate: 5th November 2006
Segments: Married to the Blob; You Gotta Know When to Golem; The Day the Earth Looked Stupid

This is an otherwise fine episode pulled into the mud by one awful segment.

Married to the Blob absolutely terrible. There are barely even any jokes in it, it just makes one joke over and over. That joke being ‘Homer eats someone’, and it’s not even funny. Eating the random space blob is a very ‘Homer’ thing to do, and that’s about the only funny thing in the whole segment. Call me a prude, but I don’t see how Homer eating every resident in Springfield is in any way fun to watch. They throw in the world’s most basic Dr Phil cameo, and then end the whole thing on another ‘Homer eats someone’ gag, only now it’s institutionalised. Way to make the hard-hitting political satire there.

You Gotta Know When to Golem is alright, but a lot of the jokes go right over my head. This is probably one of the segments with the strongest sense of plot, but that actually turns out to be more of a negative when it takes precedent over the jokes. Ultimately, this is one that I just forget about, and am mildly entertained by when it comes on.

The Day the Earth Looked Stupid is a good segment, and it’s a shame I have to lump it into this list. However, this should go to show just how much I hate Married to the Blob. There’s a lot of good jokes in this one, it nails the tone of a 1920s Springfield, and I can totally believe that town is dumb enough to believe a radio hoax. The only thing that I didn’t like was the ending, which I think was supposed to be a dig at the Iraq war, but it was so out-of-nowhere that I honestly can’t be sure.

5 – Treehouse of Horror XVI

Original Airdate: 6th November 2005
Segments: B.I.Bartificial Intelligence; Survival of the Fattest; I’ve Grown a Costume On Your Face

B.I. Bartifical Intelligence is an interesting one. This is one of the longer segments, at just under 10 minutes, so there’s a much broader scope when it comes to the plot. Events actually feel like they have time to breathe, and there’s more room for the writers to get out the jokes that they want. So it’s a shame that very few of those jokes land. A couple of the one-liners are pretty funny, but most of it is ground that other comedies have covered better before and since. Then, to end it, it hits us with an “all a dream” ending and the world’s laziest Exorcist parody.

Survival of the Fattest isn’t much better. The downside of the first segment getting 10 minutes becomes clear throughout the next two, as the whole thing feels extraordinarily rushed. There’s very little in the way of interesting jokes here. The whole thing is just a murder followed by a quip. Maybe it would’ve worked if the jokes were funnier, but it’s all just some basic jokes based on things we’ve known about the characters for years. It’s not terrible, but you won’t get much out of watching it more than once.

I’ve Grown a Costume On Your Face barely feels like it should even count as a segment. The shortened length becomes a problem here, as nothing gets a chance to breathe. The whole thing is crammed to the brim with mediocre jokes about various Halloween costume. We don’t get a chance to take anything in because the segment is so desperate to rush us to the finish, we only get about 90 seconds to enjoy the humour of everyone having turned into their costumes before the episode hands us the solution. The ending is just awful too. If it was meant as a joke, then it doesn’t land, but if it was meant to be serious, then it’s even worse.

I still wouldn’t go quite so far as to say this episode is a properly terrible one yet, but we’re definitely getting there.

4 – Treehouse of Horror XXIII

Original Airdate: 7th November 2012
Segments: The Greatest Story Ever Holed; Unnormal Activity; Bart & Homer’s Excellent Adventure

The Greatest Story Ever Holed is just desperate to explain all of its jokes to you. Thankfully, it’s relatively light on the pop-culture references, but it goes for the base-level humour where the writers don’t seem to have to confidence that the audiences will get their jokes. Instead of letting Homer wrap his long fingers around Bart’s neck and leave it as a visual gag, they have to have Homer exclaim that he’s nature’s choking machine. It’s an extra joke which is a very thinly veiled attempt at explaining the visual gag we just witnessed. It’s the kind of trope that I despise shows like The Big Bang Theory for, and it feels like the writers just didn’t have confidence in their jokes.

Unnormal Activity is definitely the best segment of this episode, but it’s still not great. The opening is quite funny, and Homer generally fooling around while trying to record everything going on was a good series of gags, but that’s pretty much all there is to like about it. As a parody of Paranormal Activity, it’s ok and hits all of the beats you’d expect it to, but it doesn’t go beyond that to create anything super memorable, which, as we’ll discuss in a couple of weeks, is what makes the best segments.

Bart & Homer’s Excellent Adventure is just plain boring. There was so much potential in a time-travel story, especially with a show like The Simpsons which has so comprehensively covered all of the significant historical events of its characters. I can see a version of this segment that plays wonderfully off of classic Simpsons’ moments in a loving, but fresh nostalgia trip for all of us. Sadly, we only got one scene of that, and then it devolves into how Marge’s life would’ve been so much better if she never married Homer. Which is a joke that wasn’t funny in the first place because of how obviously true it is, and it hasn’t gotten any funnier being constantly repeated. Making a joke out of your show’s flaws isn’t witty comedy if you do nothing to fix those flaws.

3 – Treehouse of Horror XXVI

Original Airdate: 25th October 2015
Segments: Wanted: Dead, Then Alive; Homerzilla; Telepaths of Glory

Wanted: Dead, Then Alive is one of the biggest wastes of potential I’ve seen in one of these segments. Giving Sideshow Bob his own segment was the chance to go truly off the rails with his schemes, give him something really out there and horrifying. Instead, it’s mostly the same joke over and over. I don’t see what I’m supposed to get out of watching Bart get murdered in a bunch of gruesome ways. What’s supposed to be the entertainment value there? Sure, these characters are pretty loose by this point, but he’s still a child. Plus, murder isn’t actually a punchline unless you set it up to be one, which this segment definitely doesn’t do.

Homerzilla feels like an attempt to recapture the magic of segments like King Homer but fails to understand what made a segment like that so funny. Yes, there’s a big element of parody in those things, but that isn’t all that’s there, we still have character-based jokes and a lot of clever punchlines. This segment focuses purely on the concept of parody and doesn’t look any further than that. I even rolled my eyes at a couple of the jokes in here because of how dumb they were. Then, because the writers just can’t help themselves, they go and make a satire of Hollywood remaking things, which is so unbelievably lazy and feels more like an excuse to pad the runtime.

Telepaths of Glory is fine, I guess. There just aren’t many jokes involved. The montage is a bit of fun, but that’s really it. The ‘Maggie did it’ punchline has been done before, and so much better, even on this very list. Ultimately, I just don’t have a lot to say about it, and probably will forget about it again once I end this sentence.

2 – Treehouse of Horror XXV

Original Airdate: 19th October 2014
Segments: School is Hell; A Clockwork Yellow; The Others

School is Hell is all the proof you need that original ideas don’t work for these kinds of episodes. Yes, I’ve moaned about a lot of the bad parodies these episodes have given us, but almost all of the best segments are parodies too. The same cannot be said for the original concepts like this. Bart being evil is a very played-out punchline, but I can appreciate that they tried to take it to its logical extreme here. There were some funny jokes about what a school would be like in hell, but there was a lot of lazy visual gags and jokes that explain their punchlines.

A Clockwork Yellow is perhaps the laziest pun-name they’ve ever come up with for one of these segments, and the parody doesn’t get much more interesting from there. The parody of the sped-up sex scene where Homer just eats a lot was a very funny joke, but that’s the only time I laughed during the whole thing. Everything else just hits all the beats parodies like this need to. They spoof the most famous scenes and vaguely hold onto the direction of the original plot. Also, there’s a bunch of terrible cockney accents, but I’m willing to overlook that, as I’m not petty. Sometimes.

The Others didn’t even bother to come up with a pun-name, which is somehow worse than a bad one. In terms of content, its a nice trip down nostalgia road, and it’s nice to see a show acknowledge its roots, but there’s not much to enjoy in the way of laughs. The episode seems to favour the plot over the jokes, which isn’t the way you want things to go in these segments. Unless you count all of the family members killing themselves as jokes…which I definitely don’t.

1 – Treehouse of Horror XXII

Original Airdate: 30th October 2011
Segments: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly; Dial D for Diddly; In the Na’Vi

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a fart joke. For 5 minutes. That’s it. There’s literally nothing else to it. The joke is that Homer farts, over…and over…and over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude, I still find farts funny, but a fart on its own isn’t a joke, it’s just a bodily process. Oh, and it becomes a Spiderman parody at the end for reasons I still can’t even begin to comprehend. Literally the only nice thing I have to say about it is that it’s incredibly short.

Dial D for Diddly is mostly fine. Which should go to show you just how awful the other two segments are to drag this episode down to the worst. The opening segment of Ned doing evil-looking things only for them to turn out to be innocent is well done if a little cliche. The rest of the episode feels just a little below average, Homer & Flanders interacting is always a good thing, the only real problem is the ending. It’s not necessarily bad, it’s just upsettingly predictable. God shows up, then the Devil shows up, then it turns out God is the Devil’s bitch, then just to put the cherry on things, Maud is sleeping with the Devil. Great, who cares?

In the Na’Vi is the worst parody The Simpsons has ever done, plain and simple. Despite being the highest-grossing film of all time until 2019, Avatar left a minimal cultural impact on the broader scope of pop-culture, which is a massive problem for a parody like this, especially when it’s coming in two years late. I didn’t laugh once during this. Every joke is either boring or dumb. They’ll go from referencing the wrong movie to making a joke about the different plug shapes around the world for no reason, and then quickly throw in all the essential plot beats to wrap it all up. The big fight scene at the end is ridiculous, and the whole thing ends on a word-play that makes me roll my eyes every time. It’s almost the perfect distillation of everything I dislike about modern Simpsons and an absolute failure of a Treehouse of Horror segment.

So there you have it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Please, let me know what you think of these episodes, either in the comments below, or on Twitter 10ryawoo. I’ll be counting down my favourite Treehouse of Horror episodes on Halloween night in a few weeks, but until then, make sure you come back this time next week for my rundown of Doctor Who Series 8!

NXT Takeover 31: Every Match Ranked

I knew I was right to not give up on Takeovers just yet, this was a lot more in line with what we liked them for! As it happens, I don’t think this show will be remembered all that much in the years to come, purely because there wasn’t any major story or event that stood out in the whole thing. Every champion retained, and the two big surprises will live or die on how they’re followed up on, so there’s not much to look back on in a year’s time. However, it was still a damn good night of wrestling, so let’s break it down.

5 – Damian Priest(c) def. Johnny Gargano
(North American Championship)

This is one of those cases where I have to specify that, even though it’s last, I still really liked this match. It’s just that all the other matches were even better.

After having a key role in the ladder match at Takeover 30, this was the first match where I’ve felt really impressed by what Priest has to offer. He’s had plenty of good matches up until now, of course, but this was the match where I got the feeling that he could properly hang with the best of the best in NXT. Gargano has finally settled into a style that captures the right balance between his heel & face styles. He’s still able to slow the pace, and make nastier moves, but without sacrificing the excitement of the match.

Priest winning was definitely the right decision. I’m a little confused as to why the referee seemed so concerned about the random security guys who were standing in a stupid position. Still, nevertheless, it gave Gargano an opening to do his thing. My only real concern is where Gargano goes from here. There’s no room for him in the NXT title scene at the moment, and he can’t keep hanging around the North American title like he has been most of the year. Personally, I’d think the best creative decision would be to leave him off TV for a while, so we can get excited about him when he’s back. However, I know that’s not realistic, so I just hope they’ve got a good non-title feud on the horizon for him.

Damian Priest, meanwhile, could fight just about anyone. He’s technically a heel, but this feud proved that doesn’t matter too much, and as long as it’s someone he gels well with, I’m sure the final product will be great.

4 – Io Shirai(c) def. Candice LaRae
(NXT Women’s Championship)

I didn’t expect this to seem like it was closing the book on the past year of NXT’s women’s division, but that’s the feeling I got coming out of it.

As expected, these two had all the chemistry you could want in the ring after all the times they’ve competed before. I will say that I don’t think it was either woman’s best work, but it was still an utter joy to watch. Io’s persona has shifted into a face a lot better than I thought it would, and her in-ring style has kept a definite edge to it that makes her feel different to what she was like a couple of years back. Candice, meanwhile, knows exactly what she’s doing, and exactly how to do it. I’d say she’s far better at working heel than her husband, which is a bit surprising considering how lovable she was as a face.

The headlines here though are about what happened after the match. First of all, Toni Storm kicked the door down and declared she’s coming for Io. This is brilliant, I’ve been waiting for Storm to break free of NXT UK and spread her wings here, so we should finally be getting to see her at her peak. The big surprise though was Ember Moon’s return. I honestly wasn’t sure if she’d ever wrestle again after the news of her various injuries, but now she’s back, and we’re going to get to see her fight Io, which is terrific. I think her underwhelming run with the title in 2017 made people forget just how amazing Moon can be, so hopefully, this will be a reminder.

3 – Kushia vs Velveteen Dream

This definitely wasn’t the match I was expecting from these two, so maybe that’s why I liked it so much.

Given Kushia & Dreams styles, I was expecting a highly technical affair. Both men have shown countless times that they can make mat-wrestling look very exciting, so I was settling in for a nice hefty dose of that when this match started. What I got instead though, was very interesting indeed. The pace was exceedingly quick throughout the whole match, as these two really tried to brutalize each other. Both of them came out of the gate with incredible energy that got me pumped for the rest of it.

Things eventually slowed down a bit, but it never lost the pace and energy that the beginning had built up, and it created the kind of back-and-forth contest that I haven’t seen in NXT for quite a while now. It definitely felt like Kushida controlled the match, but Dream was still able to look like an even match for the guy. They played around with the character work a lot, and I was wondering if they were trying to cast a shadow on the heel/face rolls, and if the aftermath is anything to go by, I think I may have been right.

I’m not sure if this would count as an out-right heel turn for Kushida, but I definitely wouldn’t be against it if that was the way they wanted to go. With Undisputed Era having turned face, it’s left a bit of a hole at the top of the card for heels, and I’d be excited to see what Kushida could do with such a role.

2 – Finn Balor(c) def. Kyle O’Reilly
(NXT Championship)

Kyle O’Reilly is a singles star now, it’s as simple as that. Anyone who already followed O’Reilly’s career already knew that he was a fantastic singles competitor, but to finally see it manifest in NXT is wonderful.

I was resistant to Balor’s heel style when he first started having featured singles matches in NXT, but I’ve absolutely come around to it now. I tend to prefer the fast-paced and flashy styles, but I think over the past year I’ve learned to appreciate the slower, hard-hitting styles that someone like Balor can produce. It makes for a match that feels weighty, where every move has a meaningful impact, and the story is allowed to flourish.

The way they structured this match got to show all of O’Reilly’s strengths as a performer and, by extension, Balor’s strength as a champion. People had already fallen in love with his charm – stuff like his belt air-guitar – but here we got to see a very sympathetic side to him. When a character like O’Reilly is a heel, it’s scarce that we see them struggle. The only time that he could be classed as ‘struggling’ as a heel, we’re too busy cheering because we’re happy he’s getting beaten up. I got the clear idea in this story that, Balor had the edge and was the better competitor overall, but O’Reilly was ready to give him one hell of a fight.

It was precisely the kind of feeling you need for an upcoming face. It felt like last night, Balor was the better man, but on any other night soon, it could very easily have gone the other way.

1 – Santos Escobar(c) def. Isaiah “Swerve” Scott
(Cruiserweight Championship)

This is the first time since the Cruiserweight Classic in 2016 that I feel like the Cruiserweight Division is living up to its potential.

This was honestly everything you could ever want from a cruiserweight match. It wasn’t super-heavy on high-flying action, but it didn’t particularly need to be. It gave us a healthy dose of the hyper-athletic stuff but didn’t bear down on us constantly with it. I think this ability to hold back from being super flashy all the time is what allowed the story of the match to properly grasp me and become my favourite match of the night.

This is one of those rare cases where the interference enhanced the story of the match and made it more exciting. I know one other match had interference last night, but the way they balanced it before quickly and efficiently disposing of it was far better than the other example. The thing with putting the Cruiserweights in a meaningful Takeover match for the first time is that you have to impress upon the audience that there’s more to the division than just the two guys you’re currently seeing. This interference did that, I don’t really know much about any of these characters, but I absolutely want to know more now I’ve seen this match.

The near-falls scattered throughout were a lot of fun. I know many people don’t like a bunch of false-finishes, but I always have been, and always will be a sucker for a good kickout. If this is the template for the Cruiserweight division from here on out in NXT, then I’m all-in, because this was brilliant.

And there you have it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Please, let me know what you thought of the show, either in the comments below or on Twitter @10ryawoo. Finally, make sure to come back this time on Saturday, where I’ll be counting down the worst ever Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons.

WWE Clash of Champions 2020: Every Match Ranked

Clash of Champions (GOLD RUSH!) is behind us for another year, and I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. There were three matches that I’d say were good, and that I enjoyed, while the other 5 matches were just…there. None of them were terrible, but they all failed to get me excited for one reason or another, and I imagine most will be forgotten to history very quickly.

Regardless, let’s break it down match by match and see what rose to the top.

8 – Asuka def. Bayley(c) via Disqualification
(Smackdown Women’s Championship)

Well, this was a bit of a bummer, but it wasn’t WWE’s fault, so I’m not going to be too harsh on it.

I’ve no idea what’s going on with the women who weren’t cleared to compete. It could’ve been an injury, it could’ve been COVID, or it could just be a cold, and they were being careful. Either way, I don’t think there’s much point speculating, however, it did back WWE into a bit of a corner. This is “the one night of the year where every championship MUST be defended” after all. Aside from cleverly changing the tagline to “every match is for a championship”, WWE still needed Bayley to have a match so they could hit the story beats in the Bayley/Sasha story.

Ultimately, I think it would’ve been better to have someone like Naomi or Lacey Evans come out and take a quick loss, but at least having Asuka come out was a more interesting choice. The DQ loss was a bit weird, especially considering Asuka disappeared immediately after, they could’ve just had Sasha attack Bayley to end the match instead.

It was a rubbish situation, and I don’t blame WWE for having to scramble something together, but there was little action in the match, and it ended on a DQ, so it’s got to go last.

7 – Bobby Lashley(c) def. Apollo Crews
(United States Championship)

Was it just me, or did these two not click very well tonight? It seemed like there were a lot of moments where the timing and communication between them seemed really off in the ring. There was a couple of times where Lashley went to bump way too early on Crews’ offence (or vice versa) and had to readjust. There was some enjoyable stuff, though, I especially liked the opening, where the two kept powering up against each other, and there have been enough moving elements surrounding this story to hold my attention.

At the end of the day, I’m not going to care or remember this match once I’ve finished writing about it, and I definitely think it’s time to see some fresh faces in the US title scene.

6 – Asuka(c) def. Zelina Vega
(Raw Women’s Championship)

Well, I’m thrilled that this got moved off of the pre-show, but they’d clearly only planned for a short pre-show style match.

There were highlights though, I liked the fact that Vega wasn’t just squashed by Asuka (even though she probably should’ve been). I’ve said for ages that Vega is a much bigger and better talent than WWE treat her as, and I hope little performances like this will start to make the wider audience (and those in the back) realise that she’s more than just a great talker/manager. She can go in the ring too.

I’d love to have something more complex to say about this match, but that’s really it. The action was fine while it was happening, but I’m never going to have a desire to go back to it.

5 – The Street Profits(c) def. Andrade & Angel Garza
(Raw Tag Team Championships)

Well, I still can’t say I was excited to see it, but I think this may have been the best match these two have had (the finish notwithstanding). I suppose it’s bound to happen when you have to wrestle almost every week for six months, but there was a clear feeling of chemistry between the two teams. They told a pretty standard story in the ring, but the action felt very smooth, and the build to the hot-tags got me into the flow of the match.

Sadly, the finish is the only thing anyone will remember. I don’t know what the official word is on what happened, but watching it back, it looks pretty clear to me that Garza messed up his leg. Clearly, this meant some sort of finished had to be improvised pretty quickly, but it feels like the referee didn’t communicate his plans to the wrestlers (or vice versa) and it all went a bit wrong. It’s disappointing – and means that we’re going to have to do this match again once Garza’s healed – but this is what happens on live wrestling shows sometimes.

As I said, I was into the match up until that point, and I guess keeping the belts on The Street Profits is a good idea. I just hope that the draft in a couple of weeks gives them at least one other team to fight.

4 – Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura(c) vs Lucha House Party
(Smackdown Tag Team Championships)
(Kickoff Show)

I don’t know if it’s just because the fact it was on the pre-show lowered my expectations, but I found this match rather enjoyable. It was nothing extraordinary or even particularly memorable, but I distinctly remember feeling pleasantly surprised as I watched it. Which isn’t something I often feel for a pre-show match.

I think it’s odd how they didn’t really commit to the story of dissension in the Lucha House Party, but I think it made for a better match. The teamwork between Dorado & Kalisto was a lot of fun to watch, and there were a few really cool spots in there. I really liked the moment when Kalisto was being held by Cesaro, only for Daraod to perform a diving push to give Kalisto the momentum to finish the DDT. Cesaro & Nakamura aren’t forming as nicely as I’d hoped they would though. I think they need to go with a more brutal style to really take advantage of their respective strengths.

I’m not surprised that they retained, but a title change would’ve been nice. I feel like the interesting story is with Lucha House Party right now, and giving them the titles would’ve put a bigger spotlight on that.

3 – Drew McIntyre(c) def. Randy Orton
(WWE Championship)
(Ambulance)

This felt like a nice little wrap-up of Randy Orton’s story in 2020.

It depends on what you like in your wrestling as to how much you’ll have enjoyed this match. As someone who tends to favour the action, I was slightly underwhelmed, however, the story it told was a gripping one. I’ll admit, when the Big Show appeared to attack Orton, I was quite confused and even more confused when he disappeared just as quickly. Given Drew’s response to it happening, I wondered if we were going to see Drew turn heel during this match. Then Christian showed up, and it became apparent what was going on, and once I understood the story they were trying to tell, I started enjoying it a lot more.

They did about as much as they could’ve with the ambulance gimmick, but if we’re being honest, that’s not much. The visual of Drew’s hand reaching out of the ambulance and forcing the door open was cool, but I’m not sure it was worth the slog that surrounded it. The action wasn’t the focus, though, so it didn’t matter. Instead, this was a story that pulled together the loose threads from Orton’s rise to power this past year. Not only with Drew giving him the punt kick and sending off to Smackdown (probably), but seeing all of the legends he’s wronged was a lot of fun.

You could argue it made Drew weak to need all this help, but I’d disagree. Orton’s done some truly despicable things over the past year, and to see everyone come back to kick his ass felt quite cathartic. It’s the classic storytelling trope of the villain finally getting what’s been coming to them all year. Sure, the visual of Ric Flair gleefully driving the ambulance away might be a bit goofy, but it’s a satisfying conclusion to the story. At least until Edge returns for the rubber match.

2 – Sami Zayn def. Jeff Hardy(c) & AJ Styles
(Intercontinental Championship)
(Ladder)

I expected this one to place highly going into it, but I honestly didn’t expect it to be because of Sami’s antics more than the action of the match. The action was good, of course, but it definitely wasn’t what this match will be remembered for. Hardy’s jumped off plenty of ladders in his time, and we all know the crazy stuff Styles is capable of, but never before have we seen handcuffs used so creatively, let alone in a ladder match.

It was utter genius. Firstly, handcuffing by Hardy’s earlobe is horrific, and so much better than the twisting screwdriver Orton did a few years ago (which wouldn’t have even been painful). Pile on that the fact that he was handcuffed to a ladder, and it made for some tense action. Then there was how Zayn used the handcuffs against Styles. First of all, I LOVE the shit-eating grin Zayn got on his face when Styles realised he handcuffed the two of them together. I adore this man, but in moments like those he becomes the most punchable person on the planet, it’s masterful stuff.

I’m not sure where Zayn goes with the title from here, but I’m very excited about it. I’d imagine the first port of call would be a singles feud with Jeff Hardy, one where he undoubtedly uses underhanded tactics to win. From there, the whole world is wide open for Sami, but I’m sure it’ll be wonderfully entertaining.

1 – Roman Reigns(c) def. Jey Uso
(Universal Championship)

This is how you turn a bad guy into a monster.

This match turned Roman Reigns into the new Brock Lesnar in all the best ways. It took the best elements from his style of matches and merged them with the brilliant story being told in order to create something that feels new.

The match was paced to perfection. The slow beatdown of Jey for the first third of the match didn’t feel like a bore for a second. Reigns carried himself and moved in the ring like a badass, and I felt gripped by his performance. He’s a guy with a gigantic chip on his shoulder and will take any opportunity to exert his dominance. Jey’s comeback came at just the right time and lasted just long enough to give everyone an optimistic sense of false hope. Much like when people such as Styles & Bryan fought Brock Lesnar, we knew Jey was never going to win, but we want to believe, and that’s what this comeback let us do. It helps that Reigns is one of the best at timing a kickout for the very last second.

Then, there was the final segment. Reigns taking control via an incredibly subtle, but utterly glorious low-blow was such a brilliant touch. Then, the heartbreaking descent into the end of Jey Uso, at least, it would’ve been if no-one had stopped him. As Reigns bore down on Jey, screaming at him and beating him senseless, it felt so very weighty and meaningful. Reigns’ change in attitude has been great fun to watch over the past month, but here is where he became a real bastard. Jimmy throwing in the towel was terrific too, it only serves to put emphasis on just how much Reigns doesn’t give a shit about anything other than getting his way. The truth of it was, I really felt like Reigns would’ve reduced Jey to a bloody mess if Jimmy hadn’t stopped him. The image of Jimmy scrambling in the ring to shield Jey’s body with his own was glorious and will cement Reigns as the bad guy to end all bad guys for the rest of this generation.

If you wanted a flashy, high-action match, then you might’ve been disappointed, but when you take the time to step back and look at the fantastic story that was told here, you should be able to appreciate it on a whole other level.

And there you have it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read this post. Please, let me know what you thought of the show, either in the comments below or on Twitter @10ryawoo. Finally, make sure to come back this time next week, where I’ll be covering NXT Takeover: 31!

WWE Clash of Champions 2020: Predictions & Analysis

Man, the end of summer/start of autumn has been absolutely packed with wrestling. Between WWE, NXT & AEW from August through October, there will have been 6 Pay-Per-Views in the space of 10 weeks, which is a lot of wrestling. That number would be even higher if I dedicated myself to watching NJPW on a regular basis, but I think if I did that I’d burn out completely.

Focusing on WWEland today, it’s the one night of the year where every championship is on the line. Funnily enough, this has actually become a big deal again, since there are now 9 titles on WWE’s main roster. If anything, I’m worried that several of the matches aren’t going to get the time they need to breathe.

Asuka(c) vs Zelina Vega
(Raw Women’s Championship)
(Kickoff)

You’ve got to be kidding me. The Raw Women’s title, the title that main-evented Wrestlemania not two years ago, is on the kickoff show?

This is an absolute disgrace. These are titles that are supposed to be on-par with the men’s world titles, and this is how it’s getting treated? Especially while Street Profits vs Andrade & Garza, a match we’ve seen about 12 times since the spring, gets to be on the main show. Even if you put aside what an insult it is to the prestige of the title, you’ve got Asuka, one of WWE’s most popular acts right now, slumming it on the part of the show nobody watches. My main problem though is that this is Zelina Vega’s big moment, her chance to show the wider audience that she’s actually been a great wrestler this whole time. I’ve always railed against WWE’s refusal to let Vega wrestle regularly, and now they’re finally giving her a shot but doing their damnedest to bury it.

Usually, I’d say I’m excited about this match, but given that it’s been relegated to the kickoff show, I doubt it’ll get any longer than 8 minutes. I’m sure we can all expect a paint-by-numbers face vs heel match where we don’t get to see anything remarkable; because all that time WWE spent patting themselves on the back about how progressive they are was all just empty words.

Asuka will retain, and I’ll continue to be grumpy about the placement of this match.

The Street Profits(c) vs Andrade & Angel Garza
(Raw Tag Team Championships)

I cannot even pretend to care at this point. Seriously, who still gives a shit about this match? These two teams have been feuding on and off since Wrestlemania, and they’ve not done a single unique or interesting thing with it. If you’ve ever wanted proof that WWE doesn’t care about tag team wrestling, this should be all the proof you’ve ever need. Nothing has changed with any of these teams this year, Andrade & Garza are still flipping between working perfectly as a team and hating each other’s guts week-on-week with no explanation, and I don’t have the capability to care about any of it anymore.

Andrade & Angel Garza to win, because they don’t, what has been the point of all of this? Meanwhile, I’m going to sit here and pray to every God anyone’s ever believed in that WWE find a new tag team to fight for the titles.

Oh, I guess Retribution could get involved, but after their laughably bad debut on Monday, I wouldn’t care if I never saw them again.

Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro(c) vs Lucha House Party
(Smackdown Tag Team Championships)

I’ve come around on Lucha House Party in recent months. Now WWE has tried to book them as something other than a generic pack of luchadores there’s something quite charming to their performance. Of course, this means that WWE is teasing a break-up because WWE doesn’t know how to write a story for a tag team other than making them hate each other. Nakamura & Cesaro are working well as tag champs, I think they could end up with a dynamic similar to that of The Bar, which was one of my favourite tag teams while they were together.

Picking winner is a tough call. I’d say the smart money is on the champions retaining, but I’m going to be picking a lot of champions to retain throughout these predictions. As I highly doubt WWE would put every title on the line, only to have everyone retain, I’d say this is the match most likely to have the titles change hands. So I’m going with Lucha House Party to balance things out.

Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler(c) vs The Riott Squad
(Women’s Tag Team Championships)

I was hesitant when Jax & Baszler first paired up. I’ve never been a huge fan of Jax, and I thought Baszler was the kind of character that only works when dominating on her own. However, this tag team seems to have brought a lot of positive stuff out of both women. I like the dynamic of two people who aren’t exactly friends, but they have a mutual understanding that they work well together in the ring. The match at Payback between them, and Banks & Bayley was really good, and it showcased what a pair of ass-kickers these two can be.

Hopefully, that is a pattern that will continue into this match. The Riott Squad are good, but I don’t have much reason to be invested in them right now. It looked like they might’ve been doing something interesting with Liv Morgan as a singles competitor for a little while, but now they’ve just slapped her back with Ruby. Of course, if the alternative was not even being on TV, then I’m glad they’re getting a spot on a show like this, but that still doesn’t mean I’m overly interested in their antics.

I think the match will be an enjoyable one, but Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler are definitely coming out on top. Jax & Baszler have only just won the titles, and they feel like the kind of team that needs to tear through the entire division before we even think about taking the titles off of them.

Bobby Lashley(c) vs Apollo Crews
(United States Championship)

I feel like I’ve already said everything I can possibly say about this feud. It’s another that’s gone on for too long by this point. However, unlike Profits vs Andrade & Garza, this is a story that has actually had a few twists and turns along the way to make things interesting.

I’m not sure what to make of Alexander joining The Hurt Business. Right now, it’s fine, because he’s the hot-button topic of the day, but I have a feeling he’s more likely to fade into a role similar to Benjamin, where he’s just kind of…there. That’s my main worry with The Hurt Business, is that it’s just a vehicle to get Bobby Lashley over, with little regard for the others. Regardless of my speculation, that has minimal bearing on this match, which could be a lot of fun if it’s given the time. There’s a good dynamic between Lashley & Crews’ styles, plus, there’s room for a whole host of outside shenanigans to make this a wild ride.

I’m pretty confident in picking Bobby Lashley to win though. It’s not outside of the realm of possibility that Crews could win the title back, but I honestly don’t see the point. Crews had a good run with the belt, but if Lashley wants to stick around as a force to be reckoned with on Raw, he needs to keep that title for a while.

Bayley(c) vs Nikki Cross
(Smackdown Women’s Championship)

This feels very placeholder. Two stories are surrounding this match, both of which have very little to do with Bayley & Cross being in direct conflict.

Firstly, there’s Bayley & Sasha’s feud. I don’t want to pass any judgement on it yet, because it’s still in its infancy, but I’m liking what I’m seeing so far. If anything, I wish Bayley didn’t have to defend her title on this show so we could focus 100% on building it. I doubt many would disagree with me when I say that a Hell in a Cell match next month is where things are headed between the two, so I’m hoping to see Sasha show up and bite back at Bayley, either on Sunday or next week on Smackdown.

Then there’s the storyline between Bliss & Cross. There’s a lot of theories floating around as to what exactly The Fiend did to Bliss’ mind, and quite honestly, your guess is as good as mine in this instance. Either way, I’ve enjoyed the way they’ve been telling it. For someone with such an expressive face, I’m surprised how well Bliss has been able to pull off the vacant expression that comes with her reaction The Fiend’s name, and Cross has been playing off of it well. I get the feel from Cross of someone’s who’s concerned for their friend, but also desperate to progress their own career and focus on their title match.

Ultimately, I think the situation surrounding Alexa Bliss will cause Cross to lose focus on Sunday and allow Bayley to retain. People can sit around and cry about how Bayley vs Sasha ‘doesn’t need the title’, but I’ve never agreed with that mentality. The Bayley vs Sasha feud is a massive story on its own, but the title adds another layer of depth to things and turns it into the main-event rivalry it should be.

Jeff Hardy(c) vs AJ Styles vs Sami Zayn
(Intercontinental Championship)
(Ladder)

I mean…do I really need to say anymore?

Let’s break this down. We’ve got Jeff Hardy, a wrestler with endless charisma and an in-ring style that pushes him to constant do crazy stuff, especially when ladders are involved. We’ve got AJ Styles, one of, if not the very best technical wrestler of this, or any other generation who can pull a 4-star or better match out of his arse whenever he wants to. We’ve got Sami Zayn, an incredible wrestler with an explosive style and some of the best character work I’ve seen in WWE all year. Finally, we have a whole lot of ladders, surely you don’t need me to do the maths on this one?

As much as I was disappointed that Zayn couldn’t continue his IC title run in the spring, I was pleased with what we ended up with instead. Between Bryan, Styles, Riddle & Hardy, there’s been a lot to enjoy from the IC title scene this summer, even if it barely ever got onto a PPV. This match just looks to be a continuation of that, the pieces are still floating around right now, but once we’re past this match, I’m expecting a lot of great singles matches in this division.

It’s a little harder to predict this match, though. I don’t think it’ll be Styles, he’s already had his run, and his loss against Hardy was a good way to put a cap on it. Zayn winning the title back is a possibility, but I feel like it might be overplaying the hand. Plus, I’m not sure backstage will be wanting to put a title on Zayn after he took time off for COVID (even if WWE said they wouldn’t punish people). As such, Jeff Hardy retaining makes the most sense in my mind. The whole story since his return has been about his second chance, so holding that title until at least the end of the year feels like the right way to go.

Drew McIntyre(c) vs Randy Orton
(WWE Championship)
(Ambulance)

This feud as really solidified Drew’s title reign for me. I think that, no matter what happens going forward, Drew is a made man for life in WWE after the run he’s had, and the work he’s done in this feud specifically. The situation surrounding the Punt Kicks and Drew’s reaction to them have made him look like a bloody superhero, and while I doubt fans will be back in arenas anytime soon when they are, they will roar in support for the guy. Orton’s been on an absolute tear too, he’s turned all the motivation into some genuinely thrilling TV, and he even found the time to put over Keith Lee in the middle of it all.

I don’t know how this match is going to go down, but personally, I hope they turn the brutality up to maximum. This is one of those situations where I think a slow-paced, weapons-based match is actually exactly what the story needs. Whether it’ll be fun to watch depends on how well that story is told, but based on their previous work, I’m optimistic.

However, there’s the small matter of the result. I really don’t know. Once again, I feel like the smart money says Orton, but I just can’t see it. There’s something about the visual of Drew being thrown in the ambulance that just doesn’t sit right with me, especially given what he’s already been through this month. I don’t know how it’ll go down, but my gut is telling me that Drew McIntyre is going to retain. I’d like it to be clean, but if we’re going a bit out-of-the-box, maybe this is when Edge returns to attack Orton and set up a Hell in a Cell match.

There’s a whole world of possibility, but I’m going with my gut and picking Drew.

Roman Reigns(c) vs Jey Uso
(Universal Championship)

In today’s episode of “What?! Hell yeah! ….what?” we have one of The Usos fighting for a world title. This was very much a case of not knowing how badly I wanted something until I got it. The truth is if you want to establish the edge that this new version of Roman has, what better way to do it? The old Roman Reigns was all about honour, respect & family, so why not devise a scenario where he gets to beat the shit out of all three at once?

The build to this has been incredible. The touch of Heyman & Roman being the ones to get Jey into the 4-way match was perfect, and it’s created a scenario where we’re just waiting for Roman to utterly destroy Jey. The writing team have done a great job of letting all that tension simmers in the background while Roman & Jey deal with other problems. It’s been said by plenty of people by now, but the shot of Roman’s face dropping from a smile into a menacing stare as Uso turned his back was masterful acting.

All of those factors are going to make for a truly tragic tale when Roman Reigns turns Uso into a bloody smear on the canvas come Sunday. This is probably the most predictable match of the night, but it’s with good reason. Getting Roman to properly annihilate Jey will establish the monster that Roman is now. The kind of guy that doesn’t care about doing things ‘the right way’ anymore, and just goes with what works. It’s the version of Roman we’ve wanted to see for years, and it’s finally here.

So there you have it! Thank you very much for taking the time to read this, please let me know what you think is going to happen on Sunday, either in the comments below or on Twitter @10ryawoo! Finally, make sure to come back early next week for my review of the show!